Whole Life?
"Whole Life?" is the 53rd episode of Once Upon a Virus. Summary In spite of the gruesome warning left for them by Jdg98, the heroes proceed with Julietfan's christening, unknowing of the other world that awaits them. Jimmy Cerf is plucked from his everyday life and thrust into a new reality where his destiny as UFO Editor is revealed to him. With a little help, he sharpens up into quite the savior as he's set on a quest to save an entire land from utter misery. Plot At the local Storywik church, a minister can be seen anointing Julietfan2626's head with Holy Water as her parents, Rena and Justine, stand by, along with her godparents Joe and Rachel. Everyone is smiling, though some are less genuine than others; even those in the crowd. Liz sits there with Tiago, and various other townspeople fill the pews. As the new Administrator as christened, the people clap, trying their best to ignore any and all tragedies that might be befalling them at this moment in time. After the christening itself, a party is held at town hall in the baby's honor, the very same place that Justine once held a party to "celebrate" her engagement to Ben (see "Troll Life"). Just like then, it is filled with people, and Joe is having a conversation with his parents, who are lamenting the fact that they never got to do this kind of thing for him since they missed his childhood. "It's okay," Joe assures them, "I'm just glad I'' can be here to witness ''her special moments." He takes his baby sister from his mother and cuddles her, saying that he wants her to have nothing but the best. She smiles in his arms, as do his parents at the sight, and he jokingly questions, "So whaddaya think? Is she new savior material?" We cut to Jimmy Cerf, dressed in a business suit, living his day to day life. His alarm goes off at 8:15 A.M. He wakes up, hits the snooze. It goes off again. He gets up. Has a shower. Eats breakfast. Brushes his teeth. Gets dressed. His nametag says "Jimmy Cerf". Drives to work. Wanders the office. Sits at a computer desk. Takes a break. "Hi," says a beautiful yet kind-looking blonde woman as she walks past him. "Hey there, Jennifer," Jimmy replies weakly, half falling off his desk chair at the sight. It isn't long before he's driving him. He watches TV. Goes to bed. Alarm goes off. Wakes up. Shower. Dressed. Office. Jennifer. Home. Alarm. Up. Wash. Work. Jennifer. Home. Eyes open. Eyes closed. Work. Home. Jennifer. Office. TV. Nametag. Work. Up. Shower. Clothes. Jennifer. Home. Work. Jennifer. Eyes. Nametag. Work. Jennifer. Home. It's an endless cycle. One day, however… something changes. As Jimmy is making the boring and routine drive to work, a bright flash overcomes him, and then he's gone… This time when Jimmy's eyes spring open, he is lying down on the forest floor, then sitting up in his business suit in the woods of Wikia; more specifically, the Other Wiki. "What on Earth?" he struggles, scratching his head, unaware that Earth isn't even where he is anymore. He gets to his feet, beginning to wander around in the hopes of discovering some sort of geographical landmark, or just anything to indicate what's going on, and finally he comes to a road, on the other side of which is a village. This just grows his confusion though, for the people there appear entirely primitive. Just as he is about to cross the road in an attempt to communicate with one of the villagers, he finds himself stepping back and hiding behind a tree, for an extravagant and scary-looking black carriage – led by extravagant and scary-looking black horses – is seen making its way down the road, soon stopping right next to the village. A door opens, and Rena Charming the Evil Bureaucrat steps out, to the great fear of the villagers. "Round them up," is the first thing the Bureau says, though Jimmy can't really see him properly yet behind that carriage. What he does see in the meantime is a group of Black Mods dragging people out of their homes and lining them up like animals being forced to the slaughter. "What the hell kind of fever dream is this?" Jimmy whispers to himself, attempting to remain covert behind that tree, and then he finally gets a good look at Rena as he begins to walk before the villagers. "Know now, you wretched little urchins, that whatever downtrodden squalor your sad, pathetic lives have been able to tolerate up until this point… is nothing compared to the pain and misery I can inflict should I leave here unhappy." "Jeez..." Jimmy utters, seeing a master villain at work. "On the whole, this little village has been rather good at upholding the new tax regime, so for that, loyal subjects, I commend you. But… there seems to be one person who just didn't get the memo, and… I can't have you all following by example, now, can I? What kind of ruler would I be if I didn't allow you to gain a full scope of the consequences of your possible future actions." He snaps his fingers and two Black Mods proceed to exit the carriage with a man in tow, a bag over his head. He snaps his fingers again, and the bag is removed. The man appears deeply afraid as he stands there in front of all his fellow villagers, who squirm at the beaten-up state he appears to be in. "This and worse is what will happen should another one of you slip up. Got it?" They try to nod, but Rena says, "I'm not really feeling the enthusiasm… perhaps I need to make my message a little clearer?" He turns to the Mods, "Kill him." The people gasp as the man is forced to his knees, and Rena Charming laughs as a Mod prepares to behead him. However, Jimmy finds himself unable to let this happen, and yells, "Stop!" as he dashes across the thin road and pushes the Mod, who's about to behead the man, to the ground. Rena turns to Jimmy – who appears incredibly out of place in his suit – in shock, while Jimmy just tells the man in peril to run. He does so, managing to escape the Black Mods, and Jimmy decides to follow his own advice as Rena Charming screams, "Get him!" He's running through the forest, away from the Black Mods, for a little while… but he's hardly dressed for it, nor is he particularly skilled at doing so, and it's not long before he trips over a log. While he thought he had lost the Mods, a dark figure soon looms over him, but as his vision comes back he's relieved to see that it's not one of the men who was chasing him… it's MaryPierceLopez, and she says, "Hello." She bends down and extends a hand, and he takes it, being helped to his feet. He rubs his head and asks who she is, and she suggests, "Why don't we talk about that someplace you're not being actively pursued? Come on." She begins walking away with haste, and he follows. "MaryPierceLopez?" Jimmy is questioning as he and the woman he just named sit at a bench outside a Wikian tavern, with her having just introduced herself. "Or Natalia Grant," she adds, "If you prefer." "I think I like 'Mary' better," he tells her, and she agrees. "What's your name?" she then asks. "Jimmy," he replies, "Jimmy Cerf. So, uh… now that we've exchanged pleasantries, do you mind telling me just what in the hell is going on?" "Of course," she nods, "But first I gotta run you through the basics. First off, this is the land of Wikia, one website amidst a vast ocean of lands, all beyond what people in your world refer to as 'the Internet'. It's sort of a dimensional barrier. A little hard to wrap your head around maybe, but hey, that's that. Now for the specific problem… the people here are oppressed." "By that Evil King I saw?" Jimmy wonders, but Mary tells him, "Bureaucrat. And no. They're being oppressed by a Virus." "A Virus? Like a computer Virus?" "I guess you might call it a curse," she continues, "Anyway, it's messed with their heads, made them into the opposites of who they're supposed to be. They have no idea… and that's where you come in." "Where I come in?" Jimmy questions, "Where do I come into any of this? I'm still not 100% certain that I'm not having a bad dream or some sort of crazy acid trip…" "You're not," Mary promises, "You see, you're the antivirus. The savior. You're the one who's meant to put all these stories back on track… because you're special." "Right, now I know you can't be right. Ain't nothing special about me. I've lived the same humdrum life for… years now. My parents died when I was young, got a quiet office job right out of college, been there ever since." "Sad…" "Cosy," he assures, "And I'd very much like to get back to it, so, if you could just whip out your magic wand or whatever it is you do and send me out of this place, that'd be great." "Oh, Jimmy…" Mary says, "I'm not the one with magic here… you are. You're a savior. It's literally in your blood. I saw the way you helped that man back there." "I don't know what came over me," he admits, "That was reckless and stupid and—" "Brave. Just the kind of quality a savior needs," she points out. He pauses, then asking, "You really think I'' am the one to save ''everyone in this land?" "I do," she confirms, and he asks further, "Where do I even start?" "Well," she says, "Based on the awkward stares that suit of yours is getting… I'd suggest getting started with some new threads." A set of clothes is seen hanging on a washing line in another village, unattended. Mary is seen sneaking her way up to them, and beginning to take. We next see her standing beside a tree, facing the other way as Jimmy gets changed behind it, starting to remove his suit so that he may replace it with this new fairytale-style outfit. "How come you don't seem to be affected by this 'Virus'?" he asks, attempting to make small talk, and she tells him, "It's a long story. One that involves me absorbing the internet and just a whole bunch of other crazy, convoluted stuff." "If Jennifer could see me now," Jimmy comments as he's half-naked, "I'd be mortified." "Who's Jennifer?" Mary asks as Jimmy covers his dignity, "Your girlfriend?" "I wish," Jimmy replies shyly, "She's a lady from my office… she's super nice, but… I can never pluck up the courage to say more than two words to her. I mean, you claim that I'm inherently 'brave', and yet…" "No amount of courage I've ever experienced has allowed a man in love to confess his feelings," Mary jokes, "For that you need liquor." Jimmy laughs, proceeding to ask, "What about you?" "What about me what?" "Well, do you have a special someone? Who's your Jennifer?" he's curious to know. "Well…" she starts, "There was this one guy who I got pretty close to, but… me dying kind of put a thumbs down on any kind of possible future." "Hold up," Jimmy questions, "You died?" "Yeah," she says, "It's a—" "I know, I know. Long story, right?" "Something like that." Finally, Jimmy is ready. He steps out from behind the tree in the full garb, asking Mary how he looks. "Perfect," she smiles, "Now let's go find you someone to save." A cottage is sitting atop a bridge elsewhere in the Other Wiki, and DisneyMeerkats – who looks simply like the gorgeous Valentina Cunning – admires herself in the mirror as Mary and Jimmy watch from afar from the window. "Why is her house on top of a bridge?" the latter wonders, "That's just inconvenient for anyone who wants to get past." "She's a troll," Mary says, "Trolls live under bridges and… this world is backwards." "She doesn't look like a troll to me," Jimmy says, spotting her through the window, and Mary tells him, "Like I said, backwards. In this world she's vain and selfish, while in the old world she was uglier and nastier than a crack whore without any crack." "Nice analogy, but what do you want me to do?" Jimmy wonders. "Isn't it obvious?" Mary asks, "We have to destroy her self-esteem." Jimmy looks confused at this, pointing out that, for his first heroic act, that sure doesn't sound very… heroic, but she assures him that it's necessary because that's how things went originally. "So um, do I just… give it a try? Walk up to her and…?" "Bring the sass," Mary advises, "Go on, give it your best shot." She gives Jimmy a little nudge forward and he soon finds himself approaching the cottage atop the bridge, knocking on its door and waiting several moments for DisneyMeerkats to answer. "You're ugly!" he screams in her face as soon as she opens the door, to her blind shock. "Excuse me?" she remarks, and he just exclaims, "You have some split ends!" Completely insulted, she looks like she's about to slam the door in his face… but instead, she picks him up by the throat and throws him off of the bridge, and then she slams the door. He screams as he falls but manages to grab onto a support beam, then shimmying along it to the bridge's end, where Mary is waiting for him. "Okay," she says as he clings onto a vine, "Maybe that wasn't the best plan…" "Ya' think?" he asks as she helps him up, then wondering what their next plan of action is. She scratches her chin, wondering exactly that. The two of them are next seen in a forest clearing near the bridge, and Mary says to her comrade, "I once heard whispers of an enchanted mirror known as the Display Picture, or DP for short, said to reflect how a person wishes they were seen by other people. I have an inkling that, in this backwards world… it would force people to see exactly what they don't want to look at. Their worst inner-selves." "If we got DisneyMeerkats to see her inner-ugliness, her self-esteem would be destroyed, and the story would be back on track," Jimmy realizes, leading Mary to commend him on finally getting the hang of it. He asks where this DP thing is, and she says that, last she heard, it was hidden deep within the Creepypasta Wiki: the most fearsome place in all of Wikia. "So, in backwards land, it'll be, what, in the Rainbow Unicorn Wiki or something?" Jimmy jokes. "You have got to be kidding me…" Jimmy says as he and Mary approach the Wiki filled with, you guessed it, rainbows and unicorns. "This place exists?" he asks, and Mary tells him, "Yeah. In Wikia you can find… pretty much anything. Let's just hope that the DP is here." They begin walking through it, hearing cheery music playing as the unicorns trot about happily. There are some people there as well, and Jimmy wonders, "Seems like a nice enough place, a bit Willy Wonka-esque but nice; maybe we can ask the locals where this mirror is?" "Sure," Mary shrugs, "Worth a shot." Jimmy then approaches a woman, stopping her and asking, "Excuse me, ma'am? Could you by any chance tell us where something called the Display Picture is? It'd be a great help to me and my friend here." The woman doesn't answer, just points. Jimmy and Mary then turn to the chocolate lake at the center of the Wiki, and, at the center of that, there is a small island baring a glimmering object on a pedestal. The DP. "Thank you," Jimmy tells the woman, who seems less happy than her surroundings. In fact, all the residents do. Mary and Jimmy shrug this off though as they walk towards the chocolate lake, spotting a rowboat nearby and deciding to just take it across. Jimmy wonders if perhaps they need permission but Mary points out that if no one's trying to stop them then it usually means they don't. It isn't long before they both hop in and are sailing across the lake, using the oars to make it to the center island so that they may retrieve the magical mirror. "I can't believe this is where I'm at in life," Jimmy sighs as he continues to row, and Mary smiles, assuring him that she's been there. When they make it to the island, Mary remains in the boat to keep it where it is while Jimmy steps out and grabs the DP from its pedestal; a small square mirror of about 150x150px. Mary reminds him not to look in it and so he closes his eyes as he hides it under his cloak. However, as he tries to do so, a tendril of rainbow rises from the chocolate lake and wraps itself around his wrist, forcing him to drop it. Another several of them are then seen rocking the boat that Mary's in and she screams, and Jimmy stands there confused, even more so when a group of unicorns are seen galloping right across the lake to where he is. They look angry, and they're baring their horns ready to stab him. Clearly they don't like the idea of sharing their DP, and one of them bucks Jimmy right into the chocolate water as he tries to pick it up. "Jimmy!" Mary yells as her boat continues to rock. She tries extending her hand for him to grab but another rainbow tendril grabs it and tries to pull her in too. Jimmy manages to get a hold on the island but a unicorn's hoof stomps on his fingers and he squeals in pain. Just as a rainbow tendril grabs onto him in an attempt to make him drown, a burst of golden light emanates from within him, destroying each and every one of those blasted tendrils and draining the lake completely. Mary is astounded as her boat lands on dry ground, and the unicorns even more so as they stare down at him from the island, in fear. Not wanting to upset a poweruser, they nudge the DP off the edge, allowing him to have it out of fear, and he catches it as it falls, waving it in front of Mary who once again smiles. "Now what do you say we get the hell out of here?" she suggests. "Great idea," Jimmy says, helping her off of the boat, "Boy oh boy, just wait until Jennifer hears about this." As he and Mary are making their way back to DisneyMeerkats' bridge, Jimmy is trying to get his magic to work again, outstretching his palm in an attempt to get that same golden light to emanate… but nothing happens, and he's forced to conclude that what happened back there was a major fluke. "Fluke or not," Mary says, carrying the DP but being very careful not to look into it just in case, "You were amazing. You saved me." "Maybe I really am a savior?" he suggests, and she agrees. When they make it back to the bridge, they see that DisneyMeerkats is in the upstairs of her cottage, and so Mary hands the DP to Jimmy and tells him to be quick. He runs across the bridge and sneaks on through her front door, creeping through her lush little living room and hanging the DP in the place of her regular mirror. When he leaves, he throws her regular mirror off of the bridge, soon hearing it smash as he runs back towards Mary, and the two of them hide behind a bush as they wait for their plan to take effect, able to see the living room via the large window. Soon enough, DisneyMeerats descends the stairs, entirely beautiful, and she just can't help but look at her reflection in everything. The polished face of the clock, plates, even upside-down in spoons… but then she comes across the DP, and she screams bloody murder as what she sees reflected inside it… is a troll. She touches her face in shock, and as she's forced to come to terms with her inner-ugliness, she actually starts to morph. DisneyMeerkats is no longer a beautiful woman, but a hideous "it" once again. "No…" it screams in horror, "NO!" And then it begins stomping its foot in rage, and that troll strength of its causes the bridge to shake until, finally, the entire cottage falls through it, leaving a hole in its wake. Jimmy and Mary are shocked, running across the bridge and looking down the hole. The cottage sits there fine, but DisneyMeerkats is still freaking out inside. "You did it…" Mary comments, "She's a troll under a bridge again." "You mean we destroyed her life?" Jimmy asks, "YAY!" the two of them high five and Jimmy points out that that would have looked horrible if taken out of context. The two of them watch down below as DisneyMeerkats exits its cottage and approaches that smashed mirror that Jimmy earlier threw from the bridge. A reflection is still discernible, and the troll thinks that maybe the DP was some sort of trick artifact… but then it looks at its shattered reflection, and sees an even uglier troll than before. More bloody murder is screamed. "Ew, what's that?" Jimmy asks, pointing down to some thick black liquid at the edge of the hole. "Troll blood," Mary recognizes, "It must have scraped against the edge somehow as the cottage fell." She then takes a vial out of her inside pocket and begins to collect the stuff. Jimmy asks her what she's doing, and she explains that she's seen the magic this stuff can do and that it might come in handy later; "Now come on, we should go." They begin to exit the bridge as DisneyMeerkats continues to strop beneath it. That night, Jimmy and Mary are sitting beside a campfire in a forest clearing, congratulating themselves on a job well done. "I finally have something to talk to Jennifer about," Jimmy continues in saying, "I mean, she'll think I'm crazy, but… it's better than two words followed by some vowel sounds followed by me going away." Mary smiles, and then says, "Describe Jennifer for me." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well what does she look like?" Mary wonders. "Beautiful," Jimmy says. "Is that all?" "Isn't that enough?" he asks, seeming a tad annoyed. "Okay, okay…" she concedes, taking a pause before going on to bring up, "You said your parents died when you were young… how?" "What's with all the questions?" Jimmy wonders, and she tells him to just tell her. "In an accident," he says. "What kind of accident?" "I don't know, just… an accident!" he exclaims. "You don't know," she points out, "Don't you find that… strange?" "What are you trying to say, Mary?" Jimmy demands. "That your life isn't real," she declares, to his confusion, "Your real name is UFO Editor. You were born in this land, and… you died in this land. As a little boy, a victim to a common illness. You were a combination of two very powerful magical bloodlines, you…" "What the hell?" he interrupts her with, and she begs him to let her finish, "Every Virus needs an antivirus… a savior… so when this one was enacted… it created you. This is how you would look if you had lived… but I'm so, so sorry… you didn't." "My whole life? Jennifer…" is all he can bring himself to utter. "Isn't real," she says, "None of the memories you have are. But you wanna get back to that life right? More than anything?" He nods, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Well so does everyone in this land; they want things to return to normal but they don't know it. The Virus needed you to understand their plight if you were to fight to deactivate it…" "That's… cruel," Jimmy points out. "I know, and once again I'm so sorry…" "You knew this all along?!" he exclaims, standing up angrily, "And you're only just telling me now?!" "I didn't wanna upset you…" "No… no. You're lying. That's what it is. You're just a big… liar!" He proceeds to run off into the woods crying, and Mary begs, "Jimmy, wait!" "According to you, the name's not Jimmy!" he points out as he continues to run away. "Jimmy?!" Mary is calling out as she too wanders through the dark woods, hoping to find him, "Jimmy?!" Suddenly, she's jumped by a Black Mod, having made too much noise; she couldn't see him in the dark, and he puts a hand over her mouth in order to stop her from screaming. He goes to draw his sword, but for some reason, it's not there. It's then that he's beaten across the head with the hilt of his own weapon, and Jimmy, having stolen it from the Mod's sheathe, says, "Leave the lady alone." Mary gets up as the Mod lies there, happy to see her savior, and Jimmy throws the sword to the ground as he declares, "Name's UFO Editor. If you ever try to hurt her again… just know that I will be there to stop you." The Mod manages to scramble to his feet and runs away in fear, and Mary points out, "You saved me… again." "I got halfway through the woods when it all started to come back to me," UFO explains, "My real parents, my life, my death…" "Do you still have your fake memories?" Mary wonders. "I do," he nods, "And that's what I'm gonna fight for. Maybe Jennifer really is out there somewhere… and after I deactivate this Virus, I am gonna find her… Are you with me in this?" He holds out his hand and she shakes it, assuring that she is. "Helping people deactivate Viruses," she says, "Kind of my thing." "Hey!" a man yells, approaching them, holding a scythe. In fear, UFO picks the Mod's sword up off the ground, but the man – Reginafan2626 – assures that he means them no harm. "Have you seen a Black Mod in these parts?" he asks, "I've been tracking one and…" "He got away," Mary says, "But it's okay, UFO here put the fear of God in him." "Did you now?" Reginafan asks, turning to UFO impressed, and Mary once again chimes in and says, "Hey, you're the leader of the rebels right? I know someone who's super eager to sign up for your cause. If you keep heading East from here, you'll find a bridge, and under that bridge is a troll… You should talk to her; I think she could be a valuable… sidekick." Reginafan nods, a little confused, but proceeds to head East anyway, and UFO asks Mary whose ending they should put on track next. "Oh," she says, "I have a few ideas…" UFO Editor is next seen inside Lady Junky's church, in conversation with the Blood Wiccan. "And your name is?" she questions. "UFO Editor," he says, "But you can call me Jimmy." "And you're saying that I should rip out Rena Charming's heart? For what?" "It's a crucial ingredient in the spell you're trying to cast. You wanna get to Earth right?" "I do…" she says. "Well then, you'll have to do as I suggest. Though with all those Black Mods surrounding him a straight-up ambush wouldn't do… no, you'll have to get real close to him. Perhaps even walk down the aisle just to get his heart (see "Welcome to the Other Wiki")." Lady Junky raises an eyebrow, while UFO smiles. In the present, Jdg98 is looking quite weak in his mansion, commenting, "I leave them the flayed corpse of Matthewvp09… and they just continue with their little party like everything's normal?!" He tries to make a fireball out of anger but… it doesn't seem to be working, to his annoyance. "How annoyingly human of them," he comments, "I wonder if I could patch Matthew up and return him as that vegetable he was so eager to speak out against… Nah. I prefer him the way he is." Joe soon hands Julietfan back to his parents when he notices Liz moping in the corner, approaching her and asking what's wrong. She explains that she can't stop thinking about Matthew, "I mean, you said we were close when I was a bot and then… seeing him like that, it just… triggered something horrible inside of me." "It's okay," Joe assures, "How's your arm?" "Bandaged," she explains, "But the scarring seems… pretty permanent." "I'm sorry," Joe tells her, "You know I gave this whole speech about hope when you were a bot, quite recently actually." "Maybe I could hear it sometime?" she wonders, and Joe tells her, "Sure thing. Just a minute." He leaves Liz because he's noticed Rachel – the baby's other godparent due to this town's severe lack of viable females – moping by the buffet table. "The day of depressed gingers," he comments as he approaches. "Are you okay?" he asks her, and she assures him, "I'm fine." "Oh, well then I know you're not okay," he jokes, explaining that the scale goes from great to good to okay to bad to terrible to dying to fine before asking if she's thinking about Joanna. "I'm just wondering if I did the right thing," she admits, "I mean, I regretted it as soon as I did it, but… then she was gone. Was I too harsh? Was I—" "You made a tough call," Joe reminds her, "And you did what you thought was right, which is more than most of us could have brought ourselves to do. Joanna was becoming a danger and you put a logical stop to that, so well done." Rachel nods, knowing all this, but still not quite accepting it. "I just wonder where she is now…" she says. New York City A bus stops in the middle of Manhattan and, as the doors open, Joanna Seer/DeviousPeep, in normal clothing, is the first to step off of it. She looks at the city around her and sighs, proceeding to walk on through it, regretting all her recent mistakes. Category:Season 5 Category:Episodes Category:UFO Editor-Centric